A Father's Love
by Foxdawn
Summary: Spiderleg had always been the silent type. He didn't talk much, he was shy, and he could hardly manage to say hello to his own mate. One could almost call him scared. He was scared of messing everything up. Was he really the uncaring, unloving father that he seemed to be? Or was there more?


**Hello everyone! This is my first challenge for** ** _ShineClan,_** **a forum lead by** ** _Silver that Gleams_** **.**

* * *

Spiderleg paced nervously outside the nursery, his pawsteps leaving a shallow dip in the earth. His slender, black tail lashed the air as he walked, and her felt unease pricking at his paws. _Daisy is having kits._ He thought. My _kits. What did I do to cause this? I can't be a father? I'll never be a good one. I just...I don't know what to do with them._

Leafpool and Jaypaw were together inside the nursery with Daisy. He could hear Leafpool's commanding, yet calm and collected orders, and faint wails from Daisy. Jaypaw appeared once, racing across camp and slipping silently into the Medicine den, not saying a word to Spiderleg.

Spiderleg let out a shuddering breath and sat down in front of the entrance to the nursery, his tail wrapped around his paws.

"What are you doing?" Spiderleg looked up to see his younger brother, Birchfall, padding toward him, a mouse clamped tightly in his jaws.

"What do you think I'm doing?" Spiderleg snapped, looking down at his paws. "Daisy's kits, _my_ kits are coming, and there's nothing I can do to help. I feel so worthless."

Birchfall purred. "You're not worthless. You're a great warrior and mentor, and now you'll be a great father."

 _But what if I'm not?_ Spiderleg looked up and the endless expanse of blue sky above him. _What if I'm not?_

"But, since you still feel like a half-drowned, useless clump of fur, why don't you get something to eat, or go out on patrol. Sitting her anxiously isn't going to help you any." Birchfall suggested, pushing his mouse toward Spiderleg with his forepaw. Spiderleg shook his head.

"That won't help any."

"If you say so." Birchfall shrugged and grabbed the mouse with his teeth. He flicked his tail toward Spiderleg, then padded across the stone hollow to where Ashfur and Whitewing sat together, sharing a squirrel.

Spiderleg placed his head on his paws. Shouldn't the kits be born by now? What's taking so long? Is Millie okay? What if-

"Hey! What are you doing, you stupid furball!" Spiderleg flinched as he felt Jaypaw's claws sink into his pelt. "Spiderleg! Be careful! You can't sit into the entrance of the nursery otherwise someone _else_ might trip over you!"

"Sorry, Jaypaw." Spiderleg replied weakly.

"Anyway," Jaypaw meowed, rolling off the black tom and rising to his own paws. "You're kits are born."

* * *

Spiderleg watched Toadkit and Rosekit roll out of the nursery, the watchful Daisy right behind them. The two kits sped across camp and poked their heads into the apprentice den, while Daisy scolded them from behind and began herding them toward the warriors den. Spiderleg swallowed his nervousness and rose to his paws as his kits scampered toward him.

"Toadkit, Rosekit, this is your father, Spiderleg." Daisy meowed as she padded up to him, following behind the eager kits. Toadkit raced forward and leaped onto his father's tail with a yowl of triumph. Spiderleg hissed in surprise and jumped back from the little black-and-white tom.

"Hey!" Spiderleg snapped, looking down at the little tom. "Stop that."

Toadkit and Rosekit looked up at him with huge, round eyes.

"I'm sorry." Toadkit squeaked. "I was just playing."

"It's okay, dear. You just startled him, that's all." Daisy flashed a glare at her mate as she stepped in front of the two kits."Let's get you two back to the nursery now. I'm sure Ferncloud or Millie will have a story to tell you."

Sipderleg watched the cream-furred she-cat lead the kits back to the nursery, her fluffy tail held high.

 _What did I do wrong?_

* * *

"Toadstep! Rosepetal!" Spiderleg yowled as his kits stepped down off of Highrock. He padded forward to congratulate his kits, then stopped himself.

 _What if I do something wrong? Daisy will hate me forever if I ruin this moment for them. I can't speak to them I mustn't. They may never know it, but I love them, and I am proud of them._

* * *

Spiderleg paced nervously behind the medicine den, his long, black legs getting tangled in th long strands of ivy and bracken. He let out a shuddering breath.

 _Toadstep, my son, is dying. And he never knew how proud of him I am. He'll never know how much I love him. I should've told him. I should've played with him when he was a kit, I should've taught him battle moves and told him stories when he was an apprentice. I should've congratulated him at his warrior ceremony. I should've hunted, and patrolled with him when he was a warrior. We should've fought side by side in battle, and I should be next to his nest right now, saying good bye. But I'm not. I'm not, and I never will be. All because I was too scared of ruining our relationship. But I didn't ruin it, because it was never truly there._

Spiderleg bowed his head, and listened to his son's last gasping breaths as he slipped into StarClan.

* * *

 **I hope you all enjoyed it. I had alot of fun writing it, even though it was a little sad. I feel really bad for Spiderleg, and I always have. True, he wasn't the greatest father to his kits, but he did love them. He loved them more than he could tell. So, Spiderleg didn't quite fail at his task to b a father, but he didn't quite succeed, either.**


End file.
